Less than 2 weeks

August 8th. Otherwise known as my birthday. And I am less than excited...

From my experience, my birthday should not be a day to look forward to. I have had a long string of bad birthdays. I think the last time I had a good birthday was when I use to spend my entire summer in Maine. It was never anything special. Just my family, a friend or two, if that, and a cake. Simple yet fun. I've never had an extrodinary birthday but at the same time I'm not expecting one now. I'm actually just hoping to get through my birthday without crying. That's probably my biggest goal since just thinking of my birthday now makes me tear up.

I've told a few people that I want to abolish my birthday. I don't see why not. It would make it so no one would have the chance to ruin the day. I'm not saying that all my birthdays were bad but what has happened on my birthday in the past would create birthday pesimission for anybody. Being forgotten, yelled at, guilt-tripped, and crying my eyes out does not compute to good memories about the one day that should be special for me. In this case the bad out wieghs the good. Maybe I'm expecting too much.

Focus on the good things maybe? I'm about to embark on a new chapter in my life. A new place to live with a newish roommate. A place that I can actually make my own. Decorate myself and put MY personality into. A believe it could create a whole new way of life for me. No more craziness to deal with. And I'll actually have space to accomplish some of my ideas! This is what I am hopeful for.

More clothing making.
Try to make more accessories.
Expand and develop my portfolio. 
Makes my drawing into an actualality.
Start baking regularly.
Hopefully will get to take the cake decorating class I've been dying to.
Truly enjoy the Fall.

I have begun packing. I'm too excited to move. Clean. Organize. Pack. Repeat. I hope to only have my bed, tolietries, and some clothing left in my apt before August 28th. I will deticate my nights and whatever I can in the weekend to this. Fingers crossed.